51 Vampire Puns That Do Not Suck

This list of vampire puns is open to contribution. If you’d like to add a vampire pun to it, please submit it to us using the comments section below.

Vampires. What is the first thing you think of? The creature that is lifeless from European lore that sucks the blood from humans during the nighttime. And they are warded off by garlic and you would want to put a stake through their heart in order to end them once and for all. They are associated with Halloween as they are seen in many horror films. Therefore, of course, vampires would be associated with the ‘scariest’ time of the year which is the time of the year that kids have the most fun since they can enjoy many candies.

And of course one of the most common Halloween costumes is the vampire one as kids like those ones. But are vampires only referred to as those blood-sucking creatures? Vampires are also associated with anyone who is an energy drainer. You know, the one who always drains you of your energy when you are in their presence. They do it by taking up your time and energy by ranting and raving about problems that are happening in their lives and they simply leave you fatigued and exhausted after doing so.

How do they do it? They just do because they are vampires? They may not suck your blood in the literal sense, but they certainly suck the life out of you which leaves you feeling pretty lifeless. Anyway, on a lighter note with vampires, if you talk about anything that you find amusing that has to do with vampires such as dad jokes that have to do with them – then it is more enjoyable. Let’s go over 51 vampire puns that are bloody funny.

List of Vampire Puns That Do Not Suck:

Following are some of the best vampire puns that do not suck.

1. What is a vampire’s favorite drink? Bloody Mary

2. How is the only way you can scare off a vampire just simply by talking to them? After you eat a clove of garlic.

3. Why are vampires computer experts? They know all about bytes.

4. You don’t want to have a partnership with a vampire because they are a pain in the neck.

5. Where do vampires go when they make deposits? At the blood bank.

6. Being a vampire completely sucks.

7. Maybe I should add my name at the local vampire association since they are looking for new blood.

8. What is the way that vampires can cross by sea? They take blood vessels.

9. Why do vampires cherish their family relationships more than anyone else? Blood is thicker than water.

10. Why do you need to give a vampire cold medication often? For their coffin.

11. What is said by a child vampire before going to bed? Turn off the light because I am scared of the light.

12. Last Halloween I went to a party and dressed up as a vampire, and ate all of the dishes. I was like Dracula the Buffet slayer.

13. What part of the chicken does a vampire eat? The neck.

14. What holiday does a vampire appreciate the most? Fangs-giving.

15. Why do people not like vampires? They are true pains in the neck.

16. Where would you find a vampire eating their meal? At the casketeria.

17. What song does a vampire strongly dislike? Another One Bites The Dust.

18. What is a vampire that acts flat out ridiculous called? A silly sucker.

19. What fruit will a vampire be happy to eat? A blood orange.

20. What is the one food that a vampire will never order at a restaurant? A steak.

21. What are the apartments that vampires visit when they go to NYC? The Vampire State Building.

22. What is the reason that vampires just act so crazy? It is in their blood.

23. The dance that a Spanish vampire likes the most is The Fang-dango.

24. What do you expect to get from a vampire that is a teacher at school? A blood test.

25. What is a vampire’s favorite type of cheese? Munster.

26. What is a vampire duck called? Quackula.

27. Why do vampires eat lentils? Lentils are into pulses.

28. What is a vampire that is a thug called? A fangster.

29. What type of dog would you see owned by a vampire? A bloodhound.

30. The vampire that became a poet went from bat to verse.

31. What are a vampire and a snowman cross called? Frostbite.

32. What was the reason that the vampire broke up with his girlfriend? She was not his type.

33. Why did the vampire scare his victims with music more than anything else? His Bach was worse than his bite.

34. Why did the vampire actor give up? There was no role he could get his teeth into.

35. What will happen if two vampires have a race? It will be neck to neck.

36. Vampires are on the move always looking for their necks victim.

37. What is the soup that vampires like the most? Scream of tomato.

38. When is the only time when vampires are not scary? On reflection.

39. What is something that vampires and dentures have in common? They come out at night.

40. That vampire who died of a broken heart loved in vein.

41. What play by Shakespeare does a vampire appreciate? A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.

42. How is the method that a vampire goes into his house? He goes through the bat flap.

43. What is a vampire called that is a communist? A red blood count.

44. What can a vampire do that only has one fang? He has to grin and bare it.

45. Why can’t vampires do their hair? They have no reflection.

46. The elderly vampire is quite long in the tooth.

47. What is the first thing that a baby vampire can learn? How to count.

48. Why do vampires drink blood? Coffee keeps them awake all day.

49. Why do you see a vampire reading the local newspaper? He hears that it has good circulation.

50. Why are vampires turned off by the dead? They really are not into neck-rophilia.

51. How do vampires ask for going on a date? ‘Let’s go out for a bite.’

There are 50 vampire puns that you have to admit as so bloody funny! Now go add some garlic into your food so you don’t attract any.

Do you wish to add your own vampire pun to the list?

Feel free to let us know using the comments section below.

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