50 Medical Puns That Are The Best Medicine

This list of medical puns is open to contribution. If you’d like to add a medical pun to it, please submit it to us using the comments section below.

Medicine is no laughing matter. Doctors and nurses are having to be on their feet and walking very long shifts as they treat sick people day in and day out. They often have to deal with demanding patients that often try not to be difficult but are scared. And yet there are those patients that are purposely difficult and that just makes their job even harder. They are faced with bodily fluids day after day and become desensitized to them whereas anyone who is not in the medical or cleaning field, or similar would not be able to handle it. 

And at some point, they have had to deliver the worst news to the families of those who they could not save. Therefore, being in the medical field involves having to face a lot of physical, mental, and emotional stress. And what doctors, nurses, medical technicians, and anyone else involved in medicine need to do is find anything that they can laugh at. Laughter is the best medicine for anyone in the medical field or really for anyone that is dealing with so much stress as it is. That is why there are 50 medical puns that they can use as the best medicine to help keep their stress levels down. Laughter does help, right?

List of Medical Puns That Are The Best Medicine:

Following are some of the best medical puns that are the best medicine.

1. The fact about nurses is that they are patient people.

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if you have a bone to pick with me, i really find that humerus - medical puns

2. If you have a bone to pick with me, I really find that humerus.

3. I was going to get a brain transplant but then I changed my mind. 

4. I wanted to tell you the joke about germs but I decided not to spread it around. 

5. Why can’t blood cells stay in a relationship? Because they are always in vein. 

6. I aorta tell you how much I love you because you hold my heart. 

7. I thought about going for acupuncture but then I asked myself what was the point?

8. Eye doctors love their teaching jobs because they have the best pupils.

if you have a bladder infection, urine trouble - medical puns

9. If you have a bladder infection, urine trouble. 

10. This cold is snot funny.

11. Two podiatrists don’t get along because as soon as they met, they started out on the wrong foot.

12. If you lose your hearing, you will need aids because otherwise, it is ear-replacable.

13. Why did the genes for shyness take so long to be found? It was hiding behind other genes. 

14. Why can’t you play hide and seek in the hospital? Because they will find you at the ICU. 

15. What happened to your friend who made so many rash decisions? He became a dermatologist. 

16. Who is the coolest person in the clinic? The ultrasound man. 

17. Why is it a bad idea to lie to an X-ray technician? They can see right through you.

18. How did the doctor cure your heartburn problem after eating a birthday cake? By taking off the candles first. 

19. What did the doctor say to the patient who told him he kept dreaming about his eye color changing? ‘It is only a pigment of your imagination’.

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20. That guy knew his destiny was him being an osteopath because he felt it in his bones. 

21. I asked my doctor if he could give me something for my liver. He ended up giving me some onions. 

22 It took forever for me to get my X-ray done at the hospital but that was due to the skeleton staff working. 

23. Why does the Infectious Diseases area of the hospital have extra wifi? Because of the hot spots. 

24. What is the medical name for viagra? Mycoxaflopin.

what common medical issues do swimmers face? strokes - medical puns

25. What common medical issues do swimmers face? Strokes. 

26. What is the medical diagnosis for having too many dogs? Roverdose. 

27. Why doesn’t Antarctica have to worry about flu pandemics? Because they are ice-o-lated. 

28. What is the common medical condition that pirates have? Restless Peg Syndrome.

29. What medical procedure has to be done to retrieve caviar? Sturgery. 

30. Did you hear about Apple releasing the new medical gadget called iHurt?

31. In my medical records, it said that my blood was Type A but it is a Type O.

32. What type of fish can do medical procedures? A sturgeon. 

33. What do you think the first autopsy you do in medical school will be like? That remains to be seen. 

34. How can the medical staff stop patients from lying about their medical history? They use the de-FIB-rillator.

35. I couldn’t comprehend what happens during a cardiac arrest, but once I had medical training, I can once and for all defibrelate.

medical students worry about tests to take about kidney stones because they are hard to pass - medical puns

36. Medical students worry about tests to take about kidney stones because they are hard to pass.

37. How did the police finally arrest the shady medical examiner? They had him coroner’ed.

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38. What medical condition could you be at risk for ending up with if you don’t park your car in the shade? Park in sun disease.

39. It is not easy being a medical student because it takes a lot of guts to learn anatomy. 

40. What did the doctor say to the patient who did not want to have medical care? Suture self.

41. Did you know that thyme has many medical properties? It heals wounds.

42. Why can’t dogs do MRIs? Only because cats-can. 

43. Medical physics is cool as ultrasonography is off the rails.

44. Why do nurses and doctors grab masks to wear from the coffee room? Because they are coughy filters. 

45. I told my doctor that my nose was running and asked him for a cure. He said I had to go catch it. 

46. What is the medical condition where you replace eating all night with sleeping? Insomnomnomnia.

47. The reason that the doctor lost his medical license was that he lost patients. 

48. Why are vasectomies performed today much easier and quicker than the ones performed decades ago? Because there is a  vas deferens.

49. Why did the medical student drop out of medical college back in the 1500s? Because he had no sense of humors.

the problem with diarrhea is genetic since it is known to run in your jeans - medical puns

50. The problem with diarrhea is genetic since it is known to run in your jeans. 

These are 50 medical puns to give you the best medicine which is laughter! I hope you felt better after reading them.

Do you wish to add your own medical pun to the list?

Feel free to let us know using the comments section below.

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