50 Political Puns That Will Make You Smirk

This list of political puns is open to contribution. If you’d like to add a political pun to it, please submit it to us using the comments section below.

The one day that I always dread every election year is election day. That is because you have to vote for evil or less evil. It never fails. Therefore, what is the better pick? Less evil obviously, and you cannot exactly expect anything other than that from a politician. An honest politician is something you never hear of because it does not exist. So why not make fun of them right now because that is what I want to do – and how about we share some funny politician puns, so here are 50 of them to get you smirking.

List of Political Puns That Will Make You Smirk:

Following are some of the best political puns that will make you smirk:

1. What is the one thing that politicians and babies have in common? They need to be changed often.
2. The one difference between a flying pig and a politician is the letter F.
3. You cannot trust a politician’s words and therein lies the problem.
4. What did the bartender say when he saw the politician, the clown, and the priest walk into the bar? ‘What is this, some kind of joke?’
5. Do you know what is ironic? A group of baboons is called a congress.
6. Why did the politician attend the press conference in his underwear? For the sake of doing a news briefing.
7. The zombie rapper and the politician have something in common and both spit out incomprehensible bullshit.
8. What did the constituents call the super-serious congressman? Senator of Gravity.
9. What is the one thing that honest politicians and UFOs have in common? You often hear about them but you never see them.
10. What do you expect to happen if you give a politician viagra? He gets taller.
11. There is one difference between a politician and a magician and that is the magician gives you your wallet back after his act is over.
12. The winter day was at a record freeze that time that politicians even quit blowing hot air.
13. How do lawmakers celebrate after working together successfully? They throw a political party.
14. The only way to tell if a politician is lying is if his lips are moving.
15. What do you call a politician’s cat? A bureau-cat.
16. The only way to know if your congressman is a great politician is if he has an excuse to get out of everything except office.
17. How many politician puns are the truth? This is one, and the rest are true stories.
18. In what way does the president of the Rabbit Republic travel? He flies on Hare Force One.
19. What did the Secret Service call it when someone snuck to grab the wig belonging to the President? That was a bald move.
20. The only way a politician sleeps is that he lies on one side, then he rolls over and lies on the other side.
21. The term for a politician’s call for a truce that’s barely holding is a tense agreement.
22. Who are the people who vote ‘no’ on an issue at a legislative assembly? They are the anti-bodies.
23. The way to describe a petition with the strongest protestors’ signatures at the top is that it is in dissenting order.
24. The one thing that riding a robust motorcycle and a politician have in common is that once you have a lot of power, you cannot go back.
25. When the president turns down a bill without a doubt is known as a veto of confidence.
26. The difference between a politician and a vampire is that the vampire only sucks blood at night.
27. The next time there is an election, you should vote for a janitor because they are good at sweeping changes.
28. The difference between a bucket of poop and a politician is the bucket.
29. The bureaucrat knew it was time to retire was because he ran out of red tape.
30. After a politician dies, they lie still.
31. The one difference between a politician and a snail is that one is a slimy pest that leaves a trail behind, and the other is a snail.
32. What do you call an old dinosaur that just got elected to congress? Rep Tile.
33. The difference between Thanksgiving and Election Day is only that on Thanksgiving, you have a baked turkey only for one night instead of for at least one term.
34. After the marathoner won the race, he made the decision to go into politics and run for office.
35. The political reporter had to go to the gym all of the time for his daily spin class.
36. The new civil rights legislation called Equality Control.
37. Why did the president make out okay after being injured by the tornado? The spin doctor was there to help him.
38. The place where politicians go to fool around is the estate of affairs.
39. Vote for the janitor for this election because they are the pros at cleaning up messes.
40. A lawyer with a low IQ is known as a senator.
41. The main difference between politicians and stoners is that politicians never inhale as they only suck.
42. What would you say if politicians actually worked together to solve a problem? You could say “by partisan’.
43. What is the place where polar bears go to vote? The North Pole.
44. What is the place where penguins go to vote? The South Pole.
45. What do politicans call challengers that are long-winded? They are wordy opponents.
46. When the writer for the politician quit, he was absolutely speechless.
47. The cause for the politician’s death was that he ran once too often.
48. The one difference between a politician and a battery is that a battery has a positive side.
49. The politician was about to go running but he didn’t bother since no one was chasing him.
50. How do you know the old pacifist passed away? They went into peaces.

Okay, now that is out of the way, who are you going to vote for during next election day?

Do you wish to add your own politician pun to the list?

Feel free to let us know using the comments section below.