51 Hand Puns That Are Handy for Your Sense of Humor

This list of hand puns is open to contribution. If you’d like to add a hand pun to it, please submit it to us using the comments section below.

Sometimes people take their anatomy for granted. Especially when it comes to their hands. If they didn’t have hands, they would not be able to type, write, or grab bags. The list goes on. In fact, hands are invaluable. And hands are also quite necessary for punching someone in the face who, well, has had it coming.

However, on a serious note, what else can be done with hands? Well, hands are needed for most occupations such as writing, carpentry, driving, baking, and so on. And speaking of which, you need your hands to eat. However, at the same time, there have been people who have either had to have their hands amputated or were not born with them, or have hands that are not functional, and they found a way to adapt and make things work even so that has been the case. An example of someone born with hands that were not functional as shown in the 1989 classic, My Left Foot.

The plot was about someone who had a disability that did not make it possible for him to use his hands. Therefore, he was able to write, and do art, and do other things with his left foot. There you go. But really, hands are an essential part of the anatomy that is often taken for granted. And they can be joked around about as well. Especially when it comes to using puns about hands. They are so handy for your sense of humor, and here are 51 of them to chuckle at.

List of Hand Puns That Are Getting Out of Hands:

Following are some of the best hand puns that are getting out of hands.

1. What is the guy who invented hand sanitizer doing right now? Rubbing his hands.

2. What hand is the best one to write with? It doesn’t matter as it is best to write with a pen.

3. You need to hand it to short people considering they couldn’t reach it anyway.

4. What is a boomerang that fails to return to your hand? It is a stick.

5. Why must you cut your nails? They are getting out of hand.

6. I tried to fight off someone who had metal hands but I lost the fight since he was heavily armed.

7. What does it mean if you set up Touch ID on your phone for the same finger on both hands? It makes it ambidextrous.

8. Where did Captain Hook buy his hook from? A second-hand store.

9. The worst thing I did was punch my monitor because my hand now Hz.

10. What do you do if you find a large frizzy mammal attacking you? Not to play dead, fight it with your bear hands.

11. Some chemicals in science class make your hands numb but math class can make them number.

12. Can you count the number of bones in a hand? There is only a handful of them.

13. What happened to someone who had a bag of spices explode as soon as it was touched? They had too much thyme on their hands.

14. The chef stuck his hand in the cooking pot because he was filling a little chili.

15. I tried out to be the carpenter’s hand and I nailed it.

16. There is a new bread recipe that does not involve your hands getting messy with the dough. It is kneadless to say.

17. The only tree that can fit into your hand is a palm tree.

18. The time that is the best time ever is 6:30. Hands down.

19. What is the best part about washing your hands? It is clean fun.

20. The people who don’t wash their hands really make me sick.

21. What did the cops say to the criminal that couldn’t stop using his hands? You are under a wrist.

22. What was the one thing about the guy who invented the watch? He had a lot of time on his hands.

23. Hands are so reliable and you know you can always count on them.

24. The only way the Pope can dry his hands is with a Papal towel.

25. The gambler was aware that his hands would stink because he was holding deuces.

26. It is difficult to work as a dock hand but it is wharf it.

27. Laundry detergent got on me as I was handling it so now my hands are Tied.

28. As I walked down a street in Scotland I found someone’s hand on the ground so I wondered if he was kilt.

29. The blind prostitute is so impressive, I mean you gotta hand it to her.

30. All I did was ask a lady about her handbag but she got angry. Perhaps the question was too pursonal.

31. What is a comedian called who is also a carpenter? A hand up guy.

32. What does someone do when they don’t want to face reality? They bury the head in the hand.

33. There is something not right about that hand pun, but not sure why as I cannot put my finger on it.

34. What do you say to someone who does not have arms that needs assistance? ‘It looks like you need a hand’.

35. I wish I could tell you how dirty your arms are but you cannot hand-le the truth.

36. Why is it great to be friends with a carpenter? They are handy to have around.

37. I broke my finger earlier but on the other hand, I am fine.

38. Why are guys who multitask are so good-looking? They cannot help being so hand-some.

39. What type of plague makes it so hard to breathe and to touch at the same time? Hand-avirus.

40. What type of cloth tissue fits well on your palms? The hand-kerchief.

41. What TV series did so many characters use their arms a lot? The Handmaid’s Tale.

42. Why cannot you hold too many items in your palms? It was too much and was getting out of hand.

43. I was able to grab the best items so now I have the upper hand.

44. What is a weapon made with palms? A handgun.

45. What is it called when you grab a task to tackle it? A task on hand.

46. What is a cleaning agent made of palms called? Hand soap.

47. What do you call a place where you can sweeten up your palms? Candy hand.

48. What song by Genesis was about the misunderstanding of itchy palms? Hand of Confusion.

49. What magical place did Dorothy want to touch since she was no longer in Kansas? Hand of Oz.

50. What it is called when you grab specs of dust and ashes and then throw it into the air? Hand volcano.

51. What is a hand that founded the company, Apple? Hand Jobs.

There you go! These are 51 hand puns that are so handy for your sense of humor.

Do you wish to add your own hand pun to the list?

Feel free to let us know using the comments section below.

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