This list of sex puns is open to contribution. If you’d like to add a sex pun to it, please submit it to us using the comments section below.
Sex. Oh that is one of the favorite things among everyone to do. Sex is fun, sex is a way to bond together, and sex brings plenty of great feelings. And sex is one of those things that young teenagers are curious about as they should learn what there is to know about it. It is one of those things that kids really do need to be educated about at the right age.
Sex is also one of those things that can be used for blackmail too. Especially when it comes to marriage. For example, let’s go over a stereotypical scene (which is just a stereotype, it does not mean this happens in every marriage). How about a tired housewife that has been doing everything around the house. She is having to take care of the kids, make dinner, clean, and is faced with other responsibilities which also includes working. And there is her husband who does not do much around the house, and she is quite resentful of it. She is so resentful of him to the point that she wants to deny him sex.
Therefore, sex can be a fun activity or used as a blackmail tool. And it may be taboo as it was even more so in some cultures years ago. Another thing that is fun about sex is puns! Are you ready to hear 51 funny sex puns? Let’s go.
List of Sex Puns That Are Orgasm-ically Good:
Following are some of the best sex puns that are orgasm-ically good.
1. My boyfriend went to bed naked out of nowhere. He must have a boner to pick with me.
2. Sex is fun but it has its ups and downs.
3. Blowjobs are definitely a mouthful.
4. I would tell a sex joke but I don’t want to come off as cocky.
5. Why is a husband’s wife a sex object? Because each time he asks her for sex, she objects.
6. Oral can make your day and anal can make your hole weak.
7. What kind of sex do you have in 2020 during the quarantine? Safe sex.
8. The elephant had a pressing question to that man and that was ‘how can you breathe out of that thing?’.
9. There is only one group of people that does anal and they are assholes.
10. What does sex and a thunderstorm have in common? You won’t know how many inches you’ll get or how long it will last.
11. There is only one way you’ll get ‘Dick’ from ‘Richard’ and that is if you ask nicely.
12. How do you know that a ghost is getting horny? It has a boooooner.
13. How do you know a German is rating the sex they are having from a scale of 1 to 10? They shout 9.
14. What did one boob that was sagging say to the other? ‘If we don’t get support everyone will think we’re nuts’.
15. When I was born I was given a choice between a big dick and a good memory. I don’t know what I chose.
16. What is your birth certificate really? A letter of an apology from the condom factory.
17. What is the meaning behind impotence? Nature’s way of saying ‘no hard feelings’.
18. How is having sex the same as playing bridge? If you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
19. Have you ever tried phone sex? I did but the holes in the dialer were too small.
20. Why do men have a hard time making eye contact? Breasts don’t have eyes.
21. Why did the couple go to the bar and decided to have a fun time under the palm tree in it? They wanted to have sex on the beach.
22. When should condoms be used? For any conceivable occasion.
23. Why did he struggle to write the script for the porno movie? There were too many holes in the plot.
24. What does a woman and a road have in common? They both have manholes.
25. Enough with the sex puns already, I mean cum on.
26. There is a reason that the snowman is always smiling and that is because he knows the snowblower is on the way.
27. Why is love like a machine? You need a good screw to fix it.
28. Masturbation is a touchy subject.
29. Under what conditions does your boyfriend promise you a white Christmas? As long as you jingle his bells.
30. Why was the snowman feeling so insecure? He had a little carrot.
31. I had sex while I went camping and it was intents.
32. What is so bad about having sex in an elevator? It just is on so many levels.
33. What is the difference between tires and a year’s worth of used condoms? One is good year and the other is great year.
33. It was fun having sex with a girl in an apple orchard. I came in cider.
34. What is the only way that sex on TV can hurt? If you fall off.
35. What does the bird say to the bull? You are always horn-y’.
36. Some men aren’t as great at sex as they appear to be, believe it or nut.
37. What is the best compliment that an angry wife gives her husband after sex? ‘Nut bad’.
38. The husband asks his wife ‘do you want to have sex tonight?’ Her response was ‘nut in the slightest’.
39. How do you describe a man who is obsessed with sex to the point that it is taking over his life? Nuts.
40. What kind of online platforms do people go on who are looking for sex? A social nutwork.
41. What is the nickname for the ballerina who got angry with the guy that she had sex with? The nutcracker.
42. What is a Japanese paper sculpture of a couple having sex called? Orgasm-i.
43. What is it called when two people climax together? Andgasm.
44. What is an orgasm on the beach called? Shoregasm.
45. What are orgasms called from a Norse god? Thorgasm.
46. What are orgasms called while reciting Shakespeare? Yoregasms.
47. What is sex with a cookie called? Oreogasm.
48. What does a bee say when he wants to have sex? ‘You make me so hornet’.
49. Why do unicorns want to have sex daily? They are horny.
50. Everyone wants to have sex this evening. I mean there is some influence in the air tonut.
51. What kind of men doesn’t like boobs? No man, no man at all.
How are you feeling after reading these 51 sex puns?
Do you wish to add your own sex pun to the list?
Feel free to let us know using the comments section below.