50 Money Puns That Are Priceless

This list of money puns is open to contribution. If you’d like to add a money pun to it, please submit it to us using the comments section below.

Money. What is the first thing you think of when you hear the term ‘money’? Oh, that is an easy one. How about that it makes the world go around. Money is what everyone needs to live and to survive. The more of it you have, the more you can enjoy what life can really offer. The more money you have, the more you can enjoy luxuries such as expensive meals, trips, and shopping outings. You can live in a big home and have a large family if you like. You can have your own swimming pool. The sky really is the limit. However, the reality is that most people, myself included, don’t have endless amounts of money.

Therefore, some of us are just making a living to survive and maybe can make a few extra dollars to enjoy a meal out here and there. And if you don’t care about living a fancy lifestyle, then you don’t really care as much about having too much money. And what about the saying about money being the root of all evil? I don’t believe that. Money is neutral in this. It is what you do with it. You can have a lot of money and be generous with your donations. Anyway, moving onto other things, let’s go over 50 money puns that are really so rich.

List of Money Puns That are Priceless:

Following are some of the best money puns that are priceless:

1. Why couldn’t the nickel understand the dime? It wasn’t making any cents.

2. You’ll never find a cow with money considering how farmers milk them dry.

3. How can dinosaurs pay their bills? With Tyrannosaurus checks.

4. Where does a vampire keep its money? At the blood bank.

5. Where do polar bears and penguins keep their money? At the snow bank.

6. The only time when it rains money is when there is a change in the weather.

7. Where do fish keep their money? At the river bank.

8. What was the reason that the bank robber took a bath before robbing the bank? To get a clean getaway.

9. The duck will pay for your dinner and all you need to do is allow him to put it on his bill.

10. The football coach smacked the vending machine because he wanted to have his quarterback.

11. Don’t expect to borrow money from a leprechaun as they will always be a little short.

12. How much money does a skunk have? One scent.

13. Do crabs have money? Yes they do as they have sand dollars.

14. Imagine that money grows on trees, in that case, what would the best season be? Fall!

15. Where is one place where you are guaranteed to find money? In the dictionary.

16. Why are birds rich? They have no problem with putting their deposits on expensive cars.

17. How do you get in touch with long lost friends and relatives? By winning the lottery.

18. What is the golden rule? Those who have gold make the rules.

19. I was once a banker, but I lost interest.

20. I ended up getting a job at the bakery because I kneaded dough.

21. Have you ever heard money talk? Mine always says ‘goodbye’.

22. Why did the balloon company have to close up? Due to high inflation to keep it running.

23. Why is money called dough? It is kneaded money.

24. Why did the hippie put his money into the fridge? He loved cold cash.

25. The cops arrested that guy for counterfeiting because he was giving off bad cents.

26. Why did the student eat his cash? That was his lunch money.

27. Why is the bloodhound dog rich? It knows how to pick up cents.

28. A dead man is dead broke and that means he could not live happily.

29. What type of insect is worth money? A cent-ipede.

30. What name would a coin factory worker name his daughter? Penny.

31. What is someone who is so poor cannot pay for? Attention.

32. Why was Abraham Lincoln the only president not guilty? He was always on the cents.

33. Money puns are completely priceless.

34. Why should ATMs be time machines? Because time is money.

35. Why is it a good idea to borrow money from a pessimist? He will never expect it back.

36. If money really is the root of all evil, then why is it asked for at any place of worship?

37. Why do cheap guys enjoy watching pornographies backward? They like the part when the prostitutes get their money back.

38. I have been poor and let me tell you that being poor is not fund at all.

39. What is a proctologist’s favorite money saying? ‘I bet your bottom dollar’.

40. What is it called when you put your money inside of a vase? Urned income.

41. What is a money saying that the police really do eat? Dollars to donuts.

42. Hermits never have money because of the fact that they are loaners.

43. What is the easiest way to double your money? By folding it.

44. You know that change is inevitable except for it being from a vending machine.

45. Those who don’t trust banks keep their money in their secret cash cache.

46. What is a donut? Someone who is nuts about money.

47. What could happen if you have unprotected sex with a banker that you know nothing about? You could potentially end up with financial AIDS.

48. The frugal banker counted money with his toes because he was concerned it would slip through his fingers.

49. Why is time like money? There is less of it to spare and in that case, we have to make it go.

50. Why would someone throw their money into a lake? To increase the cashflow.

There you have it. There are 50 money puns that are so very rich, and some are richer than others, mind you. But you have to admit, there are plenty of them that are so incredibly priceless!

Do you wish to add your own money pun to the list?

Feel free to let us know using the comments section below.

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