50 Cemetery Puns That Are Set in Stone

This list of cemetery puns is open to contribution. If you’d like to add a cemetery pun to it, please submit it to us using the comments section below.

What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of cemeteries? Personally I think they are peaceful to walk into because it is so quiet. Some understandably get scared, but not me. I kinda like it. No one bothers me and I can clear my mind when I take a walk in a graveyard. There is also nothing scary about death. It is part of life. Do you think you will live forever? You know that it is not possible, and would you really want to do that?

As much as I value and love life, there is a time when you need to go, at the right time of course! However, cemeteries are beautiful and are the crux of some very dark jokes. You know what, that is okay. Dark humor is something that keeps so many people happy when they are going through difficult trials and tribulations in life. As long as they don’t do it at the expense at anyone, it is fine. And now it is time to indulge in some dark humor. Here are 50 cemetery puns that are dead funny so enjoy them.

List of Cemetary Puns That Are Set in Stone:

Following are some of the best cemetery puns that are set in stone:

  1. Why was the old gate at the cemetery decaying so severely? Because it was made of rot iron.
  2. What’s the difference between a toilet and a graveyard? Not a thing because when you have to go, you have to go.
  3. How many bones are there in a graveyard? A skele-ton.
  4. Why do hipster spirits like to party at the cemetery? Because it’s an underground club.
  5. Which units of measure do the undead use to size up a cemetery? Graveyards.
  6. Why did that one guy like cemeteries so much? He digs the graves.
  7. Why can’t you cut a graveyard precisely in half? Because it’s a-cemetery.
  8. Why did the pro funeral director always place an extra chair out at the wake? For rigor mortise to set in.
  9. What does the headstone for the man who invented Velcro say? RIP.
  10. Why are graveyards generally so noisy? Because of all the coffin.
  11. What did the dyslexic guy say about going to a funeral? It’s really fun.
  12. Why was the atheist’s funeral so sad? For being all dressed up with nowhere to go.
  13. What do you call a tomb full of money? Crypt o’ currency.
  14. Why was the undertaker so famous? Because he knew how to put the fun back in funeral.
  15. Why did the undertaker quit working at the funeral parlor? It was a dead-end job.
  16. Why did the grave digger want to quit his job? That is because of always buried in his work.
  17. Why did the musician’s gig at the graveyard go so badly? Because the crowd was pretty dead.
  18. Why do some cemetery employees enjoy working there? Because they dig graves.
  19. What is it called when a casket ends up buried in the wrong cemetery plot? A grave mistake.
  20. What did the guy say after he quit working the graveyard shift? The difference is like night and day.
  21. Why did the grave digger quit his job? He just got tired of the hold thing.
  22. What is a mortician’s favorite game? Formaldehyde and ghost seek.
  23. What should you say at a funeral for somebody who died in an explosion? Rest in pieces.
  24. Does a conductor at an orchestra still make poignant music after they’re dead by de-composing?
  25. Where do you get honey in a graveyard? From a zombee.
  26. What do grave robbers and bad scripters have in common? Both create lots of plot-holes.
  27. What do undertakers say at parties? Pass me another cold one.
  28. What was etched onto the hypochondriac’s headstone? See, I told you I was sick.
  29. Why didn’t the moon attend the sun’s funeral? Because it’s not a mourning person.
  30. Why did the land developer want nothing to do with the new cemetery project? Because it was a huge undertaking.
  31. What is the difference between an archaelogist and a grave robber? Timing.
  32. Why did the monster musician’s gig at the mausoleum stink? Because the audience actually was dead.
  33. Why can’t you get cell phone reception at the cemetery? Because it’s a dead spot.
  34. How did followers feel when Karl Marx’s grave was desecrated with a hammer? That made them sickle.
  35. Who creates garden statues of the heads of famous dead people? Ghost busters.
  36. Why was the burial of the guy who invented cough drops so unconventional? Because there was no coffin.
  37. What should you wear to a Mexican funeral? A somber-ero.
  38. What do you call a group of unvaccinated children? A graveyard.
  39. How did the old grave digger die? He was buried in his work.
  40. How do you describe Karl Marx’s grave site? Just another communist plot.
  41. Old undertakers don’t die as they vault away instead.
  42. What is it called when a guy gets an erection at a funeral? Mourning wood.
  43. Did you know that dead languages are already encrypted?
  44. A ghost takes a nap in the dead room.
  45. The motto of the ghoul’s convention is the morgue the merrier.
  46. There is one reason that there is a gate around cemeteries and that is that people are dying to get in.
  47. If you play Beethoven backwards, he de-composes.
  48. Why are the dead in graves unlikable? They are rotten.
  49. The next time you speak ill of the dead, remember that you are making a grave mistake.
  50. What are interns at the cemetery? Grave trainees.

Did you find those cemetery puns dead funny? If not, then there is a grave problem if you can’t find it within you to have a twisted sense of humor.

Do you wish to add your own cemetery pun to the list?

Feel free to let us know using the comments section below.

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