50 Horse Puns That Will Leave You Unstable

This list of horse puns is open to contribution. If you’d like to add a horse pun to it, please submit it to us using the comments section below.

I will tell you a story about the first time I remember going horseback riding. I went to the camp and the counselors introduced us to horses, and I was assigned to ride on a brown one. The horse seemed nice as it did not do anything out of the ordinary. Then when I was placed on the horse, I had to hold on tight to the stirrup and I do remember it was a bumpy ride but I also know it was a lot of fun.

I have gone horseback riding several times, but I don’t like the idea of riding horses now even though I am not particularly overweight. Still, I don’t think a horse having me on its back as it has to stomp along the ground would like it. It would not be overly comfortable for the horse. Therefore, I don’t go horseback riding anymore. But horses are cool. I have a friend who has a stable and once in a while I go up there and visit the horses there. Once in a while, I go to horse races to bet. It can be fun. What more can be spoken about horses? I don’t know, here are some puns that will make you go neigh! Here are 50 of them.

List of Horse Puns That Will Leave You Unstable:

Following are some of the best horse puns that will leave you unstable:

  1. Which street do horses live on? Mane Street.
  2. Why did the horse cross the road? Because somebody shouted, “Hey!”.
  3. What do race horses eat? Fast Food.
  4. Why did the horse talk with hay in its mouth? It lacked good stable manners.
  5. What do you call an equine that wears condoms? Trojan Horse.
  6. Why don’t racehorses wear underwear? Because it rides upon them.
  7. What kind of horse do you ride down Elm Street? A Nightmare.
  8. How did the winning jockey communicate with his horses? He laid all his cards on the stable.
  9. Which route do crazy horses take through the forest? The psychopath.
  10. What should you call a horse with no hair on his neck? He shall remain maneless.
  11. How are jockeys and clouds alike? They both hold reins.
  12. How is an egg like a young horse? You can’t use either until they’re broken.
  13. When did the horseback trip begin? Ride On Time.
  14. What happens when you buy a mini donkey? You get a little ass.
  15. What do you call a horse that keeps losing its iPad? An Appaloosa.
  16. What do you get if you cross a donkey and a motorcycle? A Yam-Hee-Haw.
  17. Where do horses shop? Old Neigh-vy.
  18. Who were the most legendary horse thieves? Bonnie and Clydesdale.
  19. What do you call a donkey that digs a tunnel? A burro.
  20. Which type of underwear do racehorses wear? Short Jockeys.
  21. What do you call a donkey with a Ph.D.? A smart ass.
  22. What do you get if a donkey eats a porcupine? A pain in the ass.
  23. What did the horse say when it fell? I’ve fallen, and I can’t giddyup.
  24. How does a vet treat a horse with a cold? With cough stirrup.
  25. Where do horses get their hair done? Maine.
  26. How do you insult a lazy mule? Call him half-assed.
  27. What do you call a dark horse tale? Black Beauty.
  28. What do they serve at the dude ranch before the main course? Horse d’oeuvres.
  29. Why did the farmer ride his horse into town? It was too heavy to carry.
  30. Why did a pony have to gargle? It was a little hoarse.
  31. Which kind of horse enjoys baked beans? The Pinto.
  32. What do you call a donkey with a banjo? Bluegr-ass.
  33. Who helps the horse stable cleaning guy? His co-pile-it.
  34. What happened after a horse swallowed 4 quarters? It bucked.
  35. What do you call a bar fight with donkeys? Whoop ass.
  36. What do you call a noisy horse? A herd animal.
  37. What kind of bakery does a horse like? Thoroughbred.
  38. What do donkeys send out at Christmas time? Mule-tide greetings.
  39. When does a horse talk? Whinny wants to talk.
  40. What’s the difference between a horse and the weather? One is reined up, and the other rains down.
  41. What do you call a cheap guy who owns small horses but doesn’t spend much money on them? A pony-pincher.
  42. What is it called when donkeys party loudly? Cele-bray-ting.
  43. Which famous Italian friar and philosopher was actually a great horseman? St. Thomas Equinas.
  44. What do horses see before they hear the thunder? A lightning colt.
  45. What is a stable diet? Oats.
  46. Why did the jockey quit his job? He wanted a change of pace.
  47. What do you call a horse that has sold almost all of its pickups? A one-truck pony.
  48. What do you do when you hear horse puns mixed with some donkey puns? You laugh your ass off.
  49. A veterinarian with laryngitis is a hoarse doctor.
  50. Horses calm you down since they are stable animals.

Did you like those horse puns? Did they make you go neigh, and did the ones about the donkeys make you laugh your ass off? I sure hope so! Maybe I will book a time to go to the horse races this weekend!

Do you wish to add your own horse pun to the list?

Feel free to let us know using the comments section below.

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