This list of psychic puns is open to contribution. If you’d like to add a psychic pun to it, please submit it to us using the comments section below.
Psychic. What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear this? You probably have many thoughts from having an amazing gift to well, someone who is a fraud. Unfortunately, there are many people that pretend they are psychics but only take your money instead. And the sad thing is that there are many amazing psychics around that are legitimate. And I have gotten readings from some great ones who were right on the money about what was happening in my life.
But let’s stick to the legit psychics as there are different types that range from those who have clairvoyance (they can see what they sense), clairsentience (they can feel what they sense), clairaudience (they can hear what they sense). They also can speak to those that have crossed the other side which is Mediums. There are others that use tools such as tarot cards, runes, numerology, astrology, or don’t use tools at all.
If you are psychic yourself and you are using your gifts to make an income, you must be quite frustrated over the frauds that are trying to ruin your name, rightfully so. Legitimate psychics really do have a unique gift and they want to help others by using it and that is why they are there. So if you are a psychic who is tired of the frauds hurting your reputation or if you are someone who went to a fraud and you are now turned off by psychics – here are 50 psychic puns that will make you FEEL better!
List of Psychic Puns That Give You A Funny Feeling:
Following are some of the best psychic puns that give you a funny feeling.
1. How does a psychic like their steak done? Medium rare.
2. What does a medium order at the bar? A spirit.
3. What was the reason that the medium crossed the road? To speak to the other side, of course.
4. How does a medium contact a window washer that died? Through the squeegee board.
5. How does a psychic like their eggs? Eggs over medium.
6. What did the psychic say at the fatherhood convention? I see dad people.
7. I was skeptical about psychic mediums so I got psychic larges instead.
8. That medium all of a sudden was getting a divorce and she didn’t see it coming.
9. I wanted to find a happy medium so I went to a psychic fair to tell puns.
10. That psychic was arrested yet again and she did not see that coming.
11. I nearly went out with a psychic but she dumped me before she even met me.
12. What does one psychic say to the other? ‘Hi, you are fine, how am I?’
13. The thing you say when you see a transparent billboard is the same thing a psychic says. That is a clear sign.
14. What does a psychic have in common with your texts? They are predictive.
15. I knew someone who started her career as a psychic but gave it up because she did not see any future in it.
16. A psychic friend’s parents have started a business school and made a prophet.
17. What is an obese psychic? A four chin teller.
18. What is a psychic called that can see hundreds of years into the future? The one with extra century perception.
19. What is a psychic leprechaun that found away to get out of prison? A small medium at large.
20. The only size T-shirt that a psychic wears is a medium.
21. What is a tiny insect that can see into the future? A clar-voy-ant.
22. Why did the psychic go to the eye doctor? To have the visions checked.
23. Why did the psychic want to get drunk? Because booze would double the vision.
24. What are spirited meetings called? Seances.
25. What skill does a cross-eyed psychic have? Seeing into the past and future at the same time.
26. How does a psychic find the origins of anything? Source-ry.
27. What did the psychic order at the restaurant for a side? Tarot tots.
28. What is the dessert that a psychic likes the best? Tarot cake.
29. I just started my new job as a tarot reader and I am making a fortune.
30. What tarot card does a zombie psychic like to pull? The Death card.
31. What is it like to get a blowjob from a psychic? Mind-blowing.
32. Why did the psychic school order only small and large shirts? They have enough mediums.
33. What is an Italian psychic who has a poor outlook for the future? A pesto-mystic.
34. When someone asked a tarot reader how business was, her reply was that it was unpredictable.
35. Which steak do you see in your future? The medium well-done one.
36. Why did the psychic cancel today’s appointments? Due to unforeseen circumstances.
37. Why do psychics shake their gifts from the deceased? That is because they can only feel their presents.
38. What kind of reading does a psychic have with a blonde? A light reading.
39. What is a handjob from a fortune-teller? A stroke of good luck.
40. What did the psychic say to her client that is an Italian chef? A penne for your thoughts.
41. I don’t need to tell you the next psychic pun because you already know it.
42. What is the most psychic food from Chinese takeout? The fortune cookie.
43. That psychic that was killed by the car bomb could not foresee the C4.
44. That psychic said to me that someone was going to be disappointed and it was her since I forgot my wallet.
45. What was the most psychic dinosaur called? The tarot-dactyl.
46. There was no fortune in my cookie and that was so unfortunate.
47. It is so easy to buy clothing for psychics as they are all mediums.
48. What is a yak from a psychic? A zodi-yak.
49. What is the annual psychic dance called? The crystal ball.
50. If it is the Psychic Network, then why is a phone number necessary?
There you go, I hope you liked these psychic puns and gave you a good feeling to take for the rest of the day.
Do you wish to add your own psychic pun to the list?
Feel free to let us know using the comments section below.